Think About It. Miranda Rites. A couple of years ago, Austin Weaver and Miranda Crain, two extraordinary young people took vows. You really never know the form they’ll take these days. Obey may no longer be included, but some of the other understandings remain. The young groom already had a license to marry, other people that is. The only other person in the family with a license to thrill was California pastor Stephen Brown, who came to Wabash only to observe and advise. It is Steve who has given counsel, aided and abetted in today’s Sage offering.
While Austin Weaver appears to be one of the most mature young men of his age, on the occasion of his 21st birthday I had the pleasure of watching him smile as he sipped his first Sauvignon Blanc. Clearly a man of good taste. After completing his professional schooling in a year less than scheduled and accepting his Pharma D, he quickly skipped a couple of ranks to become a manager, part of a pre-planned course to his future in service to the community.
The two had shown laudable restraint in resisting the urge to marry immediately after meeting and “falling in love” in high school. Uncommon wisdom directed them to “test the waters” for a while before being assured that they were right the first time. Their mothers breathed a sigh of relief when the matrimonial decision was made and announced some months before the planned nuptials.
I had had the pleasure of being in the company of his intended ( betrothed?, affianced?) several times, but had not come to know her well. It seems quite clear to me however, that she is a really fine woman. With Sage wife Mary fortunately driving from the airport, aunt Laura Lee and Uncle Steve riding in the back, I was wondering whether anyone had Mirandized Austin. Mirandize is now an official English verb, you know. And that’s when I was glad I was not driving.
Without skipping a beat, Steve, our family’s man of the cloth, having undoubtedly done this many times, began a Robinesque rant that he later documented with somewhat frightening bullet points.
- You do NOT have the right to remain silent. You shall discuss your thoughts, your day, your feelings, etc. on demand; Keep in mind your new bride has the final word in any disagreement; anything you say after the final word shall constitute a NEW disagreement.
- Anything you say can and will be used against you … At any time in this union. There is no statute of limitations on misstatement, false statement, omission or commission!
- You have no need of an attorney … Your new bride shall protect any rights you may have and arbitrate any disputes.
- Just one more thing. Please respond by saying “I DO!” if you understand and agree to these NEW Miranda Rites. Think About It.