Lexophilia. Think About It. If you love words, the use and even slight abuse of words, you may have an affliction shared by some of us. You might say “you can tune a piano but you can’t tuna fish”, or “ to write with a broken pencil is pointless.” Susie Dawes, a regular reader of one of the Sage blogs has provided this year’s entries in the Lexophile competition.
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When fish are in schools, they sometimes take debate.
… A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
… When the smog lifts in Los Angeles U.C.L.A.
.. The batteries were given out free of charge.
. A dentist and a manicurist married. They fought tooth and nail.
.. A will is a dead giveaway. .. A boiled egg is hard to beat.
… When you’ve seen one shopping center you’ve seen a mall.
… Police were summoned to a daycare center where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
.. Did you hear about the fellow whose entire left side was cut off? He’s all right now.
. A bicycle can’t stand alone; it’s just two tired.
… When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
… The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine is now fully recovered.
… He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
… When she saw her first strands of grey hair she thought she’d dye.
… Acupuncture is a jab well done. That’s the point of it. And finally: … Those who get too big for their britches will be totally exposed in the end.
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Since those were the winning submissions, perhaps you can see why they were judged at an undisclosed location. Maybe to prevent the general public from Lexophilia. Think About It.